Chinese Marriage since 1950s
Part 1: In 1950s
From 1950s, most Chinese people's marriages in a particular period were established according to a set of standards generally recognized by the public in that period. Standards for marriages tend to vary from time to time and place to place. While eating habits, fashions, hairstyles and furniture styles reflect the features of a society in a certain period of time, marital standards can do better in this respect. From the marital standards pursued in a certain period of time, we can learn what the government encourages, what the news media advocate and what the people seek in that period.
After the foundation of the People's Republic of China in 1949, the old marriage system set up on the basis of the old social system was pushed towards an end. But marriage as a folk custom could not have been replaced by a thoroughly new type overnight. In fact, the 1950s was a time when the traditional marriage was gradually translated into the modern one.
From mid 1950s to 1975 when the Anti-Rightists Movement was launched, marriages among intellectuals were mostly affectional instead of political or economical. Many couples had been good playmates since childhood. Unfortunately, they were later criticized for their "petty bourgeois sentiment."
In mid 1950s, male workers and technicians put in first place such qualities as industriousness, sincerity and honesty when they were seeking their mates. In town, though the idea was still popular that husbands acted as breadwinners and wives as housewives, young men did not care much about the fact that their future wives had their own jobs. Girls, however, had a very different standard when they chose their husbands. As many manufacturing and mining enterprises were set up throughout the country, and the movements of Bandit Abolishment, Anti Tyrannical Landlords, and Suppression of Counter-revolutionists were further deepened, excellent workers, miners and militiamen received extra attention from both the central and local governments. They therefore earned themselves a good name among the public. So, in those days, girls in town preferred excellent workers and miners while girls in the country preferred excellent militiamen as their husbands.
In the same period, a large number of middle-aged and old military officers were transferred to civilian work. They mostly took leading positions in different organizations. Soon they became objects pursued by girls. A popular satirical ballad then can reveal us the fact: I never mind his old age so long as I get his Roman watch on my wrist, and get his check in my pocket; I never mind his dying tomorrow, as I am young enough to remarry. It was also true that some married officials working in town tried to enjoy the new type of love by divorcing their rube wives in the country and hunting for young fine girls in town.
Girls working in government offices had a higher standard. Two ballads widely read in those days best reveal a trend. One ballad reads: high level official is the best; county level official is good; regional level official is not bad; lowest level official is impossible. The other reads: He is my future husband who is young and handsome and experienced, who wears an expensive waterproof watch and woolen coat, and who is gentle and soft and mild.
Military officers, technicians and workers in sectors of railway transportation and military factories were popular among girls in towns and cities. Military officers were admired by girls for their good treatment, political status and physical condition. In this period, China was building railways in a large scale. Workers in this sector received better pay and welfare than those in other sectors. Besides, wives or husbands and grown-up children could be offered jobs in towns and cities. Young children were entitled to free medical service and a free train journey once a year. All this was something that girls found irresistible. Similarly, technicians and workers in military factories became a temptation because they were even better paid than those in the railway sector.
For political reasons, marriages of two kinds of women were seriously affected. They were concubines of the wealthy men and wives of those politically suppressed men. After the liberation in 1949, monogamy was strictly implemented and all concubines were obliged to leave their husbands. Those divorced women and those wives whose husbands became no longer dependable all expected to find new mates so that they could survive the hardships. As coal miners were well treated both politically and economically, they became popular among those two kinds of women. So around some big and medium-sized coal mines in provinces of Henan, Hebei and Sichuan these women could often be seen. They were seeking chances to marry a dependable man.
Many of daughters of rich landlords, kulaks, capitalists and enemy's army commanders, who were regarded as anti-revolutionists, had to marry ordinary farmers and workers. As they were politically low and their property had all been confiscated by the government, what they could only do was to marry someone who could help them survive. But their brothers were often more miserable as few girls would risk becoming their husbands.
Many marriages were decided by the communist organizations. In the military farms, state-run farms and other organizations in such remote provinces and autonomous regions as Xinjiang, Inner Mongolia, Heilongjiang, Yunnan and Hainan, there were a great many military officers and government officials unmarried at considerable age. To solve the problems, departments concerned managed to attract more females by employing female workers and soldiers. It was not uncommon to give single men an occasional leave so that they could visit those nearby villages and towns. Many men got their ideal mates from there.
In 1950s, marriages of the young in towns and cities started to be decided themselves. Marriages arranged for by parents became rare. The old marriage customs also began to die away.
Part 2: Between 1961 and 1976
In the 1960s, what exerted the greatest impact on Chinese marriage standard was the extreme leftism arising in the political movement. From 1961, family background became a very important factor to decide whether one could be employed by enterprises or government offices, recruited to serve in the army, admitted into a high school or college, or promoted to a higher position. It went to such an extreme that family background and political identity ridiculously became what had to be taken into account before young people loved someone. By the beginning of the ten-year Cultural Revolution in 1966, the leftism had gone so far that young people with an antirevolutionary background or even with relatives abroad found it very difficult to encounter their mates even though they had advantages in other ways.
Girls were subjected to severe political examination before they could marry officers in the armed forces or the public security bureaus. This practice was followed by organizations concerning national defense and security, and even by post offices. No one could pass the examination if he or she had any relative accused of crime or rightism or having foreign relationships. If one went against the policy and did on his own will to marry any one of those sorts, he could hardly escape punishment. He or she would be transferred or deactivated. In those years, hundreds of thousands of people had to feel sorry for whole life for failure to pass the examination.
By early 1960s, people began to pay more attention to education. Considering the importance knowledge in communication of ideas and children education, men began to take their future wives' cultural level as one of the conditions. In towns and cities, junior high school certificates were required for girls while in the countryside elementary school certificates were required. Girls who had experienced the three-year famine from 1959 to 1962 more envied those senior officials' families for their desirable advantages. There was once an upsurge to chase young men from these families.
Advantages of working in state-run enterprises had not been apparent. As more and more small street-commission-run factories arose, the big state-run enterprises became advantageous for their unmatched scales. Street-commission-run factories were collectively owned and generally the workers got a lower pay and worse welfare than those in the state-run. So young men who worked in the state-run were more popular among girls.
Political and social environment exerts a great impact on people's marriage standards. From the beginning of 1960s, teachers' social and economic status began to decline. In the countryside, primary school teachers got less pay than an ordinary shop assistant or a factory laborer. The slogans "Proletariats lead all" could been seen everywhere. Many teaching girls, especially those in the primary schools, chose to marry laborers much lower than themselves in terms of education. In the metaphase of the Cultural Revolution, many propaganda teams consisting of laborers were stationed in high schools, colleges and universities. Under the leadership of the laborers, many young female teachers chose to be their wives.
In this period young people of the suppressed generally had a miserable experience of marriage. Knowing the extreme importance of the political status, girls had to marry and live with men with whom they could hardly communicate ideas. Some chose to be singles all life to avoid the imaginable bad result. Very few went against the tide to marry politically unwelcome men.
During Cultural Revolution starting from 1966, more than ten million educated youth from towns and cities were sent to the countryside to aid the farmers. The marriages of this large "tribe" formed a unique scene. The marriages of the youth can be divided into three types.
The first type accounts for a large proportion that fell in love among the youth themselves. Among them about half ended in marriage. But the other half failed to get married mainly because of the interposition of the third party. As many were eager to leave the poor country and return to the city, they were inclined to turn to city folks whenever they got a chance. A ballad was then widely known:
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Let's take a last walk round the pond.
Tomorrow I am going back to my town,
Not that I am a girl of no love,
But that you can do bit for my life.
The third type includes those who got married with the local farmers. The town youth chose farmers to be their husbands or wives because of their qualities of diligence and capability of enduring hardships and their help offered in hard time. Some decided to settle down simply because they wrongly believed that they would take root in the country while others made the choice under local political pressure. A large proportion of marriages of this type, with or without children, broke up when later the policy came allowing the youth return to town. Very few families survived.
By early 1970s, youth in towns and cities began to give attention to life enjoyment. Good furniture could be seen being made in the residential quarters, dormitories, company offices and school gardens. At the same time, as the Cultural Revolution fundamentally destroyed the traditional moralities, some youth started to seek a family life with restrictions and burdens from their parents. The following is a ragged verse roughly disclosing youth's mind in that period:
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Your furniture must be new and shining;
Your parents must be soon leaving;
You must have everything
Including watch, bike, radio and sewing machine.
You must buy me all clothing
For summer, autumn, winter and spring.
You must be outstanding,
Though sometimes merciless even to your kin.
You must have enough earning.
And good at dealing with anything.
No smoking and no drinking.
But above all,
You must treat me as you are treating a king.
Before 1980, the virginal membrane was something had always considered deadly important by men. If a girl was not a virgin, she could hardly get a satisfactory result. Wives experiencing pre-marriage sexual action tended to live in a sense of guilt. Even the whole society took pre-marriage sexual action as immoral or wrong. Almost anyone accused of this deed was to be punished. Students were likely kicked out of the campus. Government workers were likely transferred to the grass root units. Even factory workers and farmers would be punished in some way. Communist Party members or Communist Youth League members who committed such misdeeds would receive extra punishment within the organizations.
Also in this period, families of elderly husbands and young wives were severely criticized by new media and artists. Consequently husbands and wives in town were mostly of similar ages, usually with the husband two or three years older than the wife. It was also the case in the country although the age gap might be a little wider.
From the second half of 1960s, as a result of high birth rate in the previous decade, people in cities generally sensed the inadequacy of residence. So, in big cities such as Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, Chongqing, Chengdu and Wuhan, girls started to take housing conditions into consideration in picking their mates.
Part 3: After the Cultural Revolution
In late 1970s, China entered into a period of "opening to the outside world." With the great change in the fields of politics, economy and culture, people's standards of marriage have also witnessed a tremendous and amazing change.
In 1977 and 1978, when colleges and universities resumed the recruit of students after ten-year interruption, it could be seen that all media started a new call for the respect of knowledge. As a result, a large proportion of girls started to think a lot of educational diploma when they were seeking their boyfriends. Men with a bachelor or master's degree were once their focus. In the country, agricultural technicians and other skilled young men were run after by girls. But in a couple of years, as professors or academic doctors were commonly regarded as "poor and dull chaps," they were no longer the center of girls' eyes.
Advertisements for husbands and wives began to appear on newspapers, television and magazines. Matchmaking services could be found in different places. People had a broader range of choices than ever, which enabled them to make better decisions on their own will.
In the end of 1970s and the beginning of 1980s, girls in towns and cities put physical height in a very important place when they were seeking their boyfriends. Those under 1.7 meter were considered quasi-handicapped. In most advertisements girls would add that their future spouses would be above that height. And at the same time they would inform their own height.
After 1982, a large number of wealthy people were born. They were mostly owners of self-employed workshops and shops or private businesses. These people, together with enterprise managers and those with foreign relatives, soon drew girls' attention. A considerable proportion, who had got married with workers in state-run businesses, managed to divorce and came to the arms of the wealthy people.
It was common in this period to find someone who could help to go abroad. Some pursued the postgraduates who had acquired qualifications for going abroad, desiring for a chance to leave China. Some managed to marry foreign businessmen, technicians or students in China with the hope of immigrating into foreign countries. Others even attempted to get close to foreign tourists or post advertisements on foreign media wishing to run into their life partners.
From 1980s, young men started to think more of girls' exterior appearance. So did girls.
After mid 1980s, there was a wider age gap between males and females who had established a relationship. Some middle-aged or even elderly men who had succeeded economically could form a relation with females a dozen or twenty years younger. Initially people were not so accustomed to it, but soon they learned to accept it. By late 1980s, divorce rate rose tremendously. Divorced women generally chose older men than their ex-husbands as their new spouses while divorced men tended to choose younger women than their ex-wives.
With the economic and cultural development, people, first from coastal cities and then from small towns and villages, had more open mind. Consequently, pre-marriage sex became increasingly common. When they were seeking their life partners, it was no longer the most important factor to think about whether he or she was a virgin.
In 1990s, government officials received great attention from girls. As a great many owners of individually owned or private businesses fell in the tide of market economy, a considerably large number of girls turned to government officials and administrative office workers. In their advertisements, some girls straightly stated that they only consider candidates from government offices. There is a saying that girls seek to marry military officers in 1950s, workers in 1960s, military officers again in 1970s, bosses in 1980s, and public servants in 1990s.
Chinese marriage standards in the past 50 years also have regional difference.
Written by Luo Kaiyu
Translated by Ye Qinfa
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Chinese Double Happiness Sticker (see the picture above)